


11 minutes: Just give me that much

by sanamani1982



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Gen, M/M, Niall and Louis are mentioned and may appear a little more later on, Old age death of main characters, Other, Past references, extra marital relationship reference, implied cheating reference
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 20:39:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8175263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanamani1982/pseuds/sanamani1982
Summary: Liam is still trying to move on from the past few years but he hasn't been able to do so and to do it he needs help from someone who he thinks will never agree. But he has to try or else he might never be able to live peacefully or forgive himself. So he tries ... he also has a secret and he does not want to share it with anyone. He thinks he deserves this and that it is his "Karma" and thinks he is being punished for his mistakes. Unforgivable mistakes. But he has learned now that life is too short and he should enjoy everything. He is carefree now and he wants to do things on his own accord. He does not think of society too much and thinks life is only onetime.
He wants to live freely till he can and he can only do so if he moves on ... he needs something to hold onto as well as move on ...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [freakybb2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/freakybb2/gifts), [Eccehomo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eccehomo/gifts).



> I just wanted to do something and write for freakybb2 coz you said we read a lot of similar things and that we should be friends and for Eccehomo coz you turned your fic into ZIAM just because of me ... I am thankful so just wanted to show something to both of you ...

_Unknown number: Hi ….._

 

**Zayn’s eye widens, he knows the number. He thought he had forgotten the digits forever or he might not have or he had blocked it. But it seems neither of that had happened. It’s amazing how he has the same number. But now he was frowning and looking down at his phone contemplating whether or not to answer, but somehow he does and he knows he does it on auto pilot mode.**

 

_Z: Hi …._

_Unknown number: Can I call you …._

**Zayn’s heart sinks and he wants to shout and kill him at the same time.. How dare he? … his thoughts are all jumbled up but anyways he resorts to write …**

 

_Z: Why after so many years? What do you possibly want from me !!!!!!_

_Unknown number: I just …. I just wanted … needed to talk to you …._

_Z: Why? Thought Sophia was enough for you to forget the need for me … and I have already moved on so don’t try to do anything now that I may be vulnerable to …_

 

**Zayn was typing as if he is shouting because he was pressing the buttons enough to show his physical frustration and that he was unable to wail or scream vocally but was literally scream shouting whilst typing the words.**

 

_Unknown number: I know.. I know Harry is the person who I could never be .. but please .. plz just once just talk to me …_

_Z: No… I can’t and Harry will not like it … he might as well kill you for talking to me …_

_Z: I can’t talk to you .. I am sorry …._

 

**Zayn panics, why was he calling him now after all these years. This must be a nightmare and he does not want to think again and shuts his phone off. He can distantly hear his name being called in the backyard. He smiles and tries to forget the episode … he succeeds as nothing is more important than a family who loves you more than anything …**

 

**_4 weeks later …._ **

**He doesn’t know why his number is saved now with a single letter “L”. His fingers had twitched while saving it and was doubtful of his own action but he did it. He knows it’s wrong but he saved. He just does not want to think of anything and the single letter had made him feel as if it was going to burn him so he threw away his phone again and sat down to breath evenly so that no one comes to know his anxiety was crippling in. He can fight this he thinks.**

 

_L: Hi …._

_Z: Didn’t I block you or something …_

_L: You can’t block me Zee … I know_

_Z : Don’t start … you lost the place to call me that … the moment u chose Sophia … just don’t send me anymore messages_

 

**For some reasons unknown when the message started pouring he never wanted it to stop. Strange he thinks. Zayn knows he is fighting and forever be in denial but he never wanted it to stop again but he will never admit it and will make sure no one ever comes to know about it.He knows he shouldn’t let it continue because it seems like he is cheating on Harry but it’s not exactly that because he just wants to talk and nothing else. Therefore Zayn keeps aside the guilt from his mind because he is doing nothing wrong by talking..**

 

_L: Plz .. Ze-… I mean plz can I just talk to you once .. plz and I swear I will live with it but plz just once_

_Z: How do you know I will not block your number?_

_L: It’s coz you are still talking to me I mean replying to my messages, you are not cold hearted … you are much more than that.. a someone that I lost who is my everything …_

_Z: Everything … you must be kidding Li … after all these years … just shut up … I can’t talk …._

 

**Zayn’s frustration level is now as high as the summer’s temperature. He does not know who he is frustrated with more, him or himself. He still cannot get it why is he still talking or messaging or whatever or why is he still allowing him to talk like that. It’s hurting him and somewhere he knows even though Harry is not aware of anything it will hurt him. So he throws his phone away and busies himself with work.**

 

_**1 week later …** _

 

**That morning Zayn feels something, something aching in his gut and he is unable to put a finger to it as to why he is feeling so restless and unresolved. He knows why when he sees the message pop up. It has been always like this with them, Zayn would always know if something is off with him. He hates this now and wants this 6th sense or whatever to go away so much for soulmates... he snorts .. still he instantly jumps to ask…**

 

_L: Hi …_

_Z: Are you alright ? .. I mean is everything fine with you .. did something happen …_

_L: This is what I love about you even after all these years you can still feel me.. I mean.. you know what I mean .. right_

 

**The moment Zayn had sent those words he knows he has given a piece of him away again to the person he vowed he will never forgive and only hate. He strictly changes his mind and demeanor as if he can see him through the phone. He now regrets his actions and tries not to dwell on it and changes his mood towards the conversation. So he writes forgotten all about worries for what might have happened to him..**

 

_Z: No, I don’t know what you mean and I don’t want to know what you mean ? Li .. just stop talking to me …_

_L: I like it when you call me Li … don’t worry you have not lost the place in my life so you can still call me whatever you like._

 

**Zayn starts laughing and his body is shaking vigorously, place in his life my foot, he thinks of telling him the same thing but stops, he thinks it should not make him angry because he means nothing.. So he just nonchalantly writes as if it does not matter to him anymore… but..**

 

_Z: What do you want ? I already said I can’t talk and I certainly will never cheat on Harry … just stop what you are trying to do .. okay …_

_L: Ze-.. I mean .. I am just trying to move on .. I mean move on from you and I need help … your help in this .. I don’t think .. I can do this alone by myself…_

_Z: Move on … you must be joking right … I am meant to feel something else .. but you surprise me.. so marrying  Sophia was not moving on .. or you lied to me then and you are lying now as well.._

_Z: What do you think Mr Payne that I some kind of dumpster that you will throw me away whenever you like and then come back whenever you want .. you must be delusional …_

_Z: I am sorry but I cannot … just go away Li …_

 

**Zayn wants to cry, he certainly is on the verge of throwing up, he can feel the bile rising but then he spots a sweet picture of the three most wonderful jewels of his life and he straightens and strengthen himself. Don’t get Zayn wrong he loves Harry, he does love him but he hoped it was as intense as it was with someone else he had loved. Zayn however was never going to say it out loud to Harry, because he loves him with all his might because somewhere he knows Harry thinks he is the one for him but Zayn also feels sad that he probably will never feel the same for Harry as the ‘ONE”. He thinks somewhere Harry knows this but still Harry is Harry he will never give up and that is why Zayn loves him. He just wished the situation was something else and that he had met Harry first.. but then ….**

 

_**2 weeks later …** _

 

_L: Hi babe …_

_Z: Wow you have some audacity to call me that … I told you don’t call me that …_

_L: Ok, so what do I call you then … Malik .. is it fine by you .._

_Z: It’s perfectly fine … and its Malik-Styles for you._

_L: I wish it could have been us-.. I mean the last name could have been something else babe …_

_Z: Don’t start Li and don’t fight it, you chose it and you laid the path so you need to walk on it._

_L: I know it’s just that I think I could have fought more for you or you could have fought for me.. just a little bit more from both of us.._

 

**Zayn’s just exasperated and sighs a loud gasp and was glaring intently at his phone and thought he was seconds away from breaking his phone but he digs in and pushes the buttons on the phone as if he is physically assaulting the person he is talking with right now .. so he writes angry expression all over his face…**

 

_Z: Wow think you have just crossed a line there Li.. you are telling me I needed to fight for you a little bit more, it’s rich coming from you who didn’t even bother saying a simple good bye and just ran way without a proper break up and oh yeah who threw a wedding invitation on my face. You think I would fight a wedding invitation when you had already made the decision without me in it. You think I didn’t fight for the person who was not sure or confident about his sexuality. You think I did not fight for you when I was still your “Dirty little secret” and still supported no matter how hurt and insulted I felt. You think I didn’t fight.. How dare you? And how could you say that… You know what I am done … Think before you say anything… think God damn it …bloody hell… you know what all this is nonsense .. go to hell Li …_

 

**Zayn was panting as if he had just run 100 miles in a marathon. His breathing was erratic and it seemed like he was having a nervous breakdown. He wanted to kick something so badly so that he could let out his frustration but he could not he was at work and people will seem suspicious about his actions because he is never violent and never the one to show his anger and frustration in action. However on the other hand he felt light as if something had lifted off from his chest he thinks. He has been hiding his anger and hurt inside him for so long and having this conversation and being able to tell him made him feel better. Zayn however hoped he could have done that in person so that he could have seen his face. He never could reason him before, could never ask the explanation and he could never tell him how Zayn felt because he just left and there was never looking back. So confrontation had never happened but Zayn is somehow happy that even after all these years some sort of confrontation happened and it made him feel good. So he starts writing again not knowing if he was still there. He thinks it might have been little long that he had no reply from the person. So he starts writing ….**


End file.
